Surrounding yourself with positive people
This has definitely been something I have struggled with all my life. I was the child that was always bringing home wounded animals. On a regular bases I brought home baby birds, salamanders, turtles, and a few squirrels. Once I even saved a mouse out of my cats mouth, but when it got scared and bit me my mom made me get a tetanus shot.
The same has been true in my relationships with people. I have always been drawn to the wounded birds of the world. I have always been a nurturer, often getting sucked into peoples lives and doing anything I could to help someone in need. Sometimes it was a place to stay, sometimes money to “borrow”, sometimes it was a mid-night-rescue. Either way I have always been the one that people knew they could go to and depend on in time of need. It sounds like I’m a great person, don’t you think?
It’s really not that great.
When you are that person it drags you down. Helping everyone all the time and getting sucked into other peoples issues LITERALLY drains the energy right out of you. You know, energy suckers? The ones who drain you both emotionally and physically making you feel tired and run down. There are people in the world who are trying to make their lives better and deserve help, and then there are people who continuously chose to live in chaos rather than putting the effort into making a change.
Since losing my daughter I have done some serious soul searching. I have cut out a lot of negative people in my life. If you are the type of person who airs out your dirty laundry on Facebook, then I have probably deleted you. I don’t care if you have known me since grade school, I refuse to let negativity (especially someone else’s) into my life. LIFE IS HARD. Sometimes its a beautiful warm sunny day, and sometimes its a hurricane. Me? I prefer the sunny days, and I refuse to let other peoples rain clouds ruin my weather.
THE PEOPLE WE SURROUND OURSELVES WITH…
The people we surround ourselves with effect the way we see life. If you surround yourself with successful people you will learn drive and strive to keep being better. If you surround yourself with kind people you will want to do good things and be a better person. If you surround yourself with joyful happy people you too will have joy. The opposite is also true. Are you letting people drag you down? Everyone gives of a certain type of energy. Did you ever meet someone and you were just instantly drawn to them, like you knew them for years, but had only just met them? That’s because they have positive energy and your soul is like “Gimme some of that”. When you surround yourself with broken people who have no interest in doing whatever it takes to get it together you can be drug down by the negative energy that they emit and because of the negative energy draining your positive energy. It often times leaves you feeling sad, tired, and drained.
So! Who is in your tribe? Is it people who lift you and those around you up? Do they make you laugh and encourage you to succeed? Does your bubble of friends shine brighter than all the rest because you’ve already figured out everything I just wrote a long time ago? Or are there some people in your tribe who maybe need to go? I of all people know how hard it is to cut people off, because I had to do it in a time when I needed my friends the most. I guess its up to you to decide when you’re ready.
BUT LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING….
You can’t help someone who isn’t willing to help themselves. I am now the type of friend who is not afraid to call you out if I see something wrong. I was never like that before. I was always a people pleaser, I was afraid to be honest with people because they might not like me anymore. But I wasn’t helping anyone that way. Now I listen, but I am also straight forward, and if I see an issue I am not quite about it. What my people do with it from there is up to them. I’m focused though. I’m not sugar coating things anymore! I’m only surrounding myself in positivity these days so get it together or get out of my bubble. I wish I could stress enough what a complete waste of time and energy negative people are. Don’t even go near them!
I really hate that I had to lose my daughter to learn this, but I can tell you that I have never been happier with who is in my life and the direction that it is headed than I am now. I feel SO POSITIVE about the future. Do I make a lot of money? I make less money than I ever have because I am only in the first year of starting my own business, but I KNOW for a fact that my life, and my business is going to be amazing. You know why? Because I got rid of all my baggage (as much as it hurt), and so can you. As I have been making positive changes in my life I have watched everything change around me. I started my own business as a makeup artist….it actually found me when I wasn’t even looking. In one year I have gone from being jobless, to doing makeup for national and international house hold name brand commercial and print ads. I have used my love for interior design to decorate my house, and by posting pictures to my Facebook over the past year have receives several interior design jobs, and as of too weeks ago a reoccurring interior design consultant job for a local real estate company. All of this literally fell in my lap. I don’t look for anyone, they all found me!
So now you can see why I’m so positive about the future. I am surrounded by so much love and encouragement. No one is there anymore to drag me into darkness, and I’m now, for the first time in my life, dancing in the light.
I wish that I would have known all of this when Juliet was alive but in the end it was her who taught me. I’m passing it on, so that hopefully it will help you too!